Only Family Owned and Operated Crematory in South San Diego County - Open 24/7 Call 833-781-6222

Grief Support

Grief Support

Grief Support

C.S.Lewis, an Irish author, mentioned in A Grief Observed after the unforeseen death of his wife, “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. The death of a beloved is an amputation.”  Learn more how AAA Cremation & Burial can help you in the grief support process.

Dealing with grief is never simple, and we believe this section of our website comprises helpful resources. Still, if you require extra support for grieving your loss, please call us. We are here to help you in every way.

Dealing with Death – Grief Support

Death is one of the most ignored things in our society these days. Most of us avoid speaking, thinking, and planning about it. Even though we know death is one of the inevitable things of life, we are not ready to accept its happening.

“Confronting Death with an Open, Mindful Attitude” an article written by Dr. Todd Kashdan, starts with painful words, “Death can be terrifying.” Further in the article, he goes on to explain the reasons behind death being a frightening thing for most people. He goes on saying “Recognizing that death is inescapable and unpredictable makes us incredibly vulnerable. This disrupts our instinct to remain a living, breathing organism.”

The fact is that our fear of death has kept us as an individual and communities alive for centuries. It is one of the natural things. Still, the fear of death does not serve the personal requirement for safety. Now that we want to lead our lives, we must let go of fear. Dr. Kashdan says having a mindful living approach is something that is required.

Grieving with Purpose – Grief Support

Grief is one thing for which no one is ready to deal with. It involves anxieties, heartache, and feelings that can break us completely. In such a situation, when we prefer to be strong for self-growth, remarkable things can happen. At times, good things come from suffering.

The concept of grief was first brought up in 1917 by Sigmund Freud. Even today, the idea of grief continues. As per Dr. James Worden, the work of grief is task-oriented:

  • To acknowledge the loss
  • To go through the pain of grief
  • To mold into the world in the absence of the deceased
  • To find a lasting connection with the deceased in the middle of beginning a new life

Achieving all the above goals must be your priority. There is no specific order in which these goals will fall. All individuals are different, and the path we go through on the journey of grief is never straight.

Handling grief is never going to be simple. It will take both strong efforts and courage to successfully go through the loss of an important person in your life.

Six Signposts Along Your Journey

There are six signposts that aid post-traumatic growth, as per Dr. Stephen Joseph. According to him, “post-traumatic growth does not imply the absence of emotional distress and difficulties in living. It does imply that it is possible through the struggle to come out on the other side, stronger and more philosophical about life.”

Before going to the six signposts, Dr. Joseph wants his readers to know about three crucial things that are:

  1. Trauma is a natural and normal procedure
  2. You are not alone
  3. Growth is a passage

According to him, there is a basic rule: You should not do anything; you might not be capable of handling. If you are experiencing a gush of emotions, panicking, or becoming physically down – it is better to stop. Moreover, he says “having a sense of personal control over your recovery is important. There might be some things you do not feel ready to handle now, but in time, as you discover new strength and develop new coping skills, this will likely change.”

As per Dr. Joseph, – Concentrating on these signposts helps to lessen the post-traumatic growth.

Signpost #1: Taking Stock

Are you well physically? Are you getting an adequate amount of sleep? Are you eating good food for maintaining proper health? Have you taken the legal, psychological, and medical assistance you require? What is your present condition – emotionally, physically, and spiritually?

Signpost #2: Harvesting Hope

People who are shocked and stressed normally feel discouraged. It is tough to wake up in the morning and think about the dark and negative future. It is good to find motivation in the personal growth stories of others. Ensure you have your goals set and bring hope to achieve your goals.

Signpost #3: Re-Authoring

Try to convey your story differently. You can try to take out the victim mentally from the story of loss you say to yourself and others. One thing you can do is to replace it with the survivor to get back to normal life.

Signpost #4: Identifying Change

Maintaining a daily diary can assist you in easily noticing the minute transformation in yourself. When you are at your best, you can check and track these moments. With this, you will be able to know the conditions that led to the transformations. Note and encourage the positive transformation in life through your grief journey.

Signpost #5: Valuing Change

Evaluate the transformations and note the ones you would like to continue nurturing. It can help a lot in transforming personally. Growth can be gained when we take out time to consider what learning we have gained from loved ones and find a way to utilize it when speaking about it to others.

Signpost #6: Expressing Change in Action

The best way to express your growth is through your new behavior or just in your actions. As far as concrete actions are concerned, it assists to make the growth experience within your grief journey real to you.Ending Denial and Finding Acceptance The foremost task in the grief journey is acceptance. Dr. James Worden has written one must “come full face with the reality that the person is dead, that the person is gone and will not return.”

It is where the funeral is the most vital thing. As per the custom, the deceased body is kept in the casket in the room wherein the guests and the family members can personally say their final goodbyes. The main purpose of this is to see with the own eyes that death has occurred and that witnessing is part of death acceptance. This traditional viewing has become less with time as lots of families these days prefer cremation. Such families choose to hold memorial service after the cremation services San Diego are completed. The crucial thing of the ceremony turns out to be the cremation urn and the cremated ashes. Due to this, the death reality has become less evident, and the path to acceptance is not marked properly.

Acceptance May Seem Out of Reach – Grief Support

Acceptance refers to an agreement with reality. Most people, when they lose their loved ones just do not want to agree with the fact. They are not ready to accept or agree. Hence, using a different perspective might work – try integration or adjustment. Both these words concentrate on the release of doubt. A person that has faced the death of the loved one in their life needs to move to the path of new life. The new life must be the one in which the memory of loved one is kept very close to the heart, and there is a motivation for transformation.

Keep in mind acceptance takes time. The American Cancer Society in “Coping with the Loss of a Loved One”, mentions “acceptance does not happen overnight. It’s common for it to take a year or longer to resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it’s normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years after their death. In time, the person should be able to reclaim the emotional energy that was invested in the relationship with the deceased, and use it in other relationships.”

The vital part of mourning is something that allows people to start their life and live completely again. It helps to come out of the darkness and get back to the sunshine where life is great again. For sure, it is a completely different life as compared to the past when you had your loved one beside you.  AAA Cremation & Burial can help you deal with the grief support process.